Not A Killer
by Recode
Summary: It's hard when you keep yourselves in the world of self-pity. It's even harder to believe that the ones you love would love you back... (Totally H/L!)


**"NOT A KILLER…"  
By:** Angel (angel-cale@glay.org)  
**Site:** (Pay me a visit, please!)  
**Disclaimer:** Hikaru and Lantis aren't mine, whatsoever…  
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   The thunder was roaring fiercely outside the palace. The dark sky looked even more tedious with the rain pouring down like cat and dog. Looking back, no one would possibly be out there. Yet, a small young girl stood in the middle of nowhere, shivering in the coldness of the air. Her pair of ruby eyes no longer shine with audacity. Instead, a mixture of silent tears and rain trickled down her dull face continuously. She was totally drenched from head to toe.

   She heard footsteps from behind but she didn't turn. She knew the presence of the approaching footsteps but still she didn't turn. It's not that she didn't want to but she couldn't… She couldn't face the person, not yet… Not when her heart was seriously bleeding and terribly aching. Not when she was hurting, slowly eating her whole…

   "Hikaru."

   That voice… That calm voice… Why can't she interpret the underlying emotion beyond the voice? Why can't she at least understand the real emotion behind it? "Hikaru." That voice again! She gritted her teeth and clenched her fist. The words Nova told her earlier echoed again; _"You already know that he wouldn't love you back. Why are you still loving him?"_  Raging, mixed emotions were running wild at the back of her head. Giving up, she finally turned around and looked up to the person standing in front of her.

   Lantis… His jet-black hair was drenched. His pair of amethyst eyes looked straight into her ruby ones. It was as if he was trying to pierce through her masked sentiment. "Who sent you here?" She asked. "Clef? Eagle? Presea? Or Umi and Fuu?" She had to ask. She needed to know. "No one sent me here," he answered, slightly frowning at her unusual coldness. She used to be the cheerful one. _'Weird'_, he thought.

   She had to smile at that. "Nothing's wrong with me. I'm fine. I just needed a moment to be alone with my thoughts," she tried to sound as polite as she could. To her surprise, he stepped closer to her and placed his hand on her forehead. "You're not fine. Your presence is all messed up. You're confused."

   _Damn!_

   How could he? How could he read her when she couldn't even read him? "You're thinking about what Nova said, aren't you?" Hearing his question, she smiled bitterly. Turning around so that she was backing him, she looked up to the dark sky.

   "I kept thinking about the day we were told about the truth of Magic Knight. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. My heart, body and soul… All of me screamed in pure agony. I kept thinking… Earlier, I wanted to be a Magic Knight because I thought it would be fun. Then, I thought becoming a Magic Knight would save Princess Emeraude and restore Cephiro to its former beauty. But I couldn't be more wrong… Instead of saving any one, I killed two loving hearts that shared a strong bond of love. They led a long way of life just to reach a dead end. Three of us may be the ones who killed the Pillar but it was me who held the sword. It was me… ME!"

   "Hikaru, stop it!"

   "… We were sent back to our world. I went home, stayed on my bed and didn't get up again for days. The sun came up… The sun went down… I just stayed there. It's like I couldn't move. It hurts too much to move. Then I have to suffer a greater pain when we were summoned back here. The sight of this land… So terrifying… The pleasant ray of light is no more. The wonderful lakes, the beautiful seas… All gone. Ferio forgave us for killing his sister. Then you forgave us for killing your brother but I couldn't accept it. How could you of all the people forgive me when I couldn't even forgive myself for it?! How - -."

   "That's enough!!"

   Lantis pulled the now weeping girl into his arms. She let her guard down and wept bitterly. He held her close as she dropped to her knees and caressed her damp hair. A while later, Hikaru stopped sobbing. She just let her tears trickle down her pale face. "Nova was right," she said in a whisper, "No matter what they say, I'm still a killer."

   "Nova is never right. You just did what you had to do. You did what needed to be done."

   She didn't answer. Wiping away the remaining tears on her face, she flashed him a sincere smile. "I wish I could believe what you just said."

   "Then believe it because it's the truth."

   "… You're always like this."

   "Like what?"

   "So strong. So calm even when everything's a mess. You're so nice to me though you know that I'm a killer." _But you would never love me back…_

   Sighing, Lantis cupped her small frame in his hands and looked into her eyes. "I'll give you a proof that Nova is wrong."

   Before she could reply, his lips were already on hers, kissing her tenderly. Again, tears formed in her eyes. _No, this can't be happening… This can't be real! He wouldn't… He couldn't… Or, could he?_

   Pulling back slightly, he whispered against her lips. "How could you think that I wouldn't love you back? I may have never said the words but I deeply care about you. I love you, Hikaru. I always have and will always do. You're all that matters to me since the day I first looked into your eyes."

   "How? How can you still love me knowing what I did to your brother?"

   "That's in the past. Besides, it wasn't your fault. You just did what needed to be done. Please believe me. I don't see you as a killer. You're a savior, an angel. Believe me. I love you, I really do."

   The rain stopped. Crying happy tears, she hugged him. "I love you too. Thank you for accepting me." She sobbed and continued crying. Only now that he was kissing her tears away… Lantis made a silent vow that he would always stand by her side against all odds. And so did Hikaru…

  
***~*~*~*~*~*~ OWARI ~*~*~*~*~*~*  
- **For now -


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